Hi everybody!
Here's my storyboard, just so you know.
I would much love for you to give some feedback, or just to look at it
:)
Shuyang, My initial thought is that you have enough plot-driven material here for hundreds of pages. So for the purposes of this project, I'd say dive deeply into one specific part. For example, just the fact that your protagonist has to leave his love to go to war would make for a great story that would allow you to weave in some of the other details about the world you've created (you'd be able to continue from there). So within the story of having to leave his love, maybe there's somebody trying to steal her away, and maybe we learn about how he got the scar. That'd be a great story with a lot of action and good motivation for the characters. Mr. Watson
Hey Shuyang, I thought that your story outline so far was pretty good, although there is so much information and different sidestories. I agree with Mr. Watson, that you should focus more on one aspect of the story other wise this short english project could end up as a couple hundred page novel. There are many characters and different themes and I think it would be an excellent story for a novel, if you have ever considered writing one. ~ Tiana Rauliuk (your hawaii partner)
A starting lineup of characters, etc... PLOT SETTING: Northrend, where Zeruel, Tarrin and Rhyvin embark on their journey SETTING 2: Quel’Thanas, where Laurana pines for Zeruel, finally going after him SETTING 3: The Blighted Waste, site of the final battle and Zeruel’s use of the ultimate technique SETTING 4: Manaereth, where Zeruel drives back Sergeras and destroys Moridin CHARACTERS: MAIN PROTAGONIST: Zeruel (spoken from his point of view), a highly accomplished High Elf warrior who hides his tragic past. Was in love with Laurana, but had to leave to combat the undead Scourge. Covers the bottom half of his face with a cloth mask, a scar stretches above and below his right eye. PROTAGONIST: Laurana, princess of Quel’Thanas, was (and still is) in love with Zeruel. Pined for him when he left, and she went in search of him. Was captured by the Scourge, and used to induce Zeruel to use an ultimate technique that ultimately destroys everything on the battlefield and breaks open Laurana’s prison. PROTAGONIST: Tarrin, prince of Northrend and driven out by Kil’Jaeden and his Scourge. He helps Zeruel in his battles and is an immensely powerful mage. PROTAGONIST: The Arginath, spiderlike beings who originally occupied Northrend, forced out by Kil’Jaeden and fought an unsuccessful war against him. Kil’Jaeden could not defeat them but reanimated their dead to create Crypt Lords. PROTAGONIST: Crypt Lords: When Kil’Jaeden was forced to flee in the Waste, he lost control over them and they forged an alliance with Zeruel, Tarrin, the Arginath, and Sauron. PROTAGONIST: Rhyvin, older brother of Tarrin, who gave up his princehood so he could learn the arts of the sword. He is almost as powerful of a swordsman as Zeruel, and helps him throughout Myr. PROTAGONIST: Cyrnthos, the Great Dragon, currently using Zeruel as his host, provides Zeruel with a lot of help in his battles. PROTAGONIST: The Forsaken, nine shadow beings who help Zeruel because of a life debt they owe him (he saved them from Kil’Jaeden) ANTAGONIST: Kil’Jaeden, creator of the Scourge and deposer of Tarrin’s father. Tarrin is currently in exile, and Kil’Jaeden is the king of Northrend. He sent the Scourge to attack Quel’Thanas and is forced to flee when Zeruel uses an ultimate technique. ANTAGONIST turned PROTAGONIST: Mandoreth, king of demons and trapped in a massive blade. This weapon was used by Kil’Jaeden, but was liberated by Zeruel. He cleansed the blade and freed Mandoreth, who then swore fealty. ANTAGONIST: Moridin, an ancient mage of darkness who has pledged to rule Myr or destroy it. He has power over Kil’Jaeden, and is the priest of Sergeras. ANTAGONIST: Sergeras, an ancient titan who was corrupted and turned to the darkness. He organizes the Burning Legion, and destroys Myr 3,000 years ago. It slowly recovers, and now he is stirring once more, using Moridin and Kil’Jaeden to help destroy Myr once more. Devourer: ancient deity awakened by Zeruel’s use of his ultimate technique, prophesied to destroy the world. The God of Chaos, he ravages much of Myr (the continent) before being driven back by Cyrnthos (in guise of Zeruel). The Devourer realizes that Sergeras wishes to enslave Eldor and forges an uneasy alliance with him, planning to destroy Sergeras after Sergeras destroys everything else. When he is driven back and Sergeras defeated at Manaereth, he realizes Zeruel’s power and helps him destroy Sergeras and Moridin.
THE STORY STARTING
BEGINNING PROLOGUE
Zeruel speaking near the end of the story
Zeruel starts to speak of the start
CHANGE TO ZERUEL POV
Zeruel goes to Stormvale to sniff out some suspicious undead movement there
Zeruel meets with Laurana’s friend/bodyguard, his old friend Kalanyr
A Puppet Master appears within the city and attacks Laurana, Kalanyr, and Laurana’s escort
Zeruel fights off the Pupper Master’s puppets, but is then forced to watch as the Puppet Master erects a shield that blocks him off from the battle
The Puppet Master attacks directly, knocking KAlanyr back and preparing to stab Laurana
Zeruel makes a split second decision, and focuses all of his anger to break through the shield and jump
Zeruel knocks Laurana out of harm’s way, and takes the stabbing blow himself (in the abdomen)
Zeruel utilizes the Demon Seal to seal the Puppet Master’s soul into the blade, he faints from massive blood loss
CHANGE TO KALANYR’S POV
KAlanyr and Laurana carry Zeruel to Laurana’s room in Stormvale Castle, assisted by his friends ARchmage Rhyvin and Prince Tarrin
While Zeruel is resting, Kalanyr and Laurana listen to Prince Tarrin tell of their journey
CHANGE TO TARRIN’S POV
Starts earlier, to the first point in the storyline
Tarrin is forced out of the Northlands by the usurper Mordereth, a demon who kills Tarrin’s family
Tarrin escapes Mordereth’s reach and flees to Quel’Thanas, where he gets asylum
Tarrin meets with Zeruel, an orphan near his age who is an expert swordsman
Tarrin speaks of his life in Quel’Thanas (briefly)
Tarrin and Zeruel embark together to infiltrate the great Undead Kingdom
They meet Archmage Rhyvin near the Undead Kingdom
They team together and overpower the guards
Moment of hesitation when they argue over how it is futile to try to battle through the Undead Kingdom
ZEruel and Tarrin convince Rhyvin to do it, since duty matters most of all (EX of COURAGE)
Zeruel charges ahead into the Undead Kingdom, drawing along with him the Undead
Tarrin and Rhyvin go in after him to “clean up”
Zeruel is injured, and Tarrin goes ahead to scout
Rhyvin heals Zeruel, and they go and destroy the Undead Kingdom
CHANGE TO RHYVIN’S POV
Starts where Tarrin leaves off
Here's my storyboard, just so you know.
I would much love for you to give some feedback, or just to look at it
:)
Shuyang, My initial thought is that you have enough plot-driven material here for hundreds of pages. So for the purposes of this project, I'd say dive deeply into one specific part. For example, just the fact that your protagonist has to leave his love to go to war would make for a great story that would allow you to weave in some of the other details about the world you've created (you'd be able to continue from there). So within the story of having to leave his love, maybe there's somebody trying to steal her away, and maybe we learn about how he got the scar. That'd be a great story with a lot of action and good motivation for the characters. Mr. Watson
Hey Shuyang, I thought that your story outline so far was pretty good, although there is so much information and different sidestories. I agree with Mr. Watson, that you should focus more on one aspect of the story other wise this short english project could end up as a couple hundred page novel. There are many characters and different themes and I think it would be an excellent story for a novel, if you have ever considered writing one. ~ Tiana Rauliuk (your hawaii partner)
A starting lineup of characters, etc...
PLOT
SETTING: Northrend, where Zeruel, Tarrin and Rhyvin embark on their journey
SETTING 2: Quel’Thanas, where Laurana pines for Zeruel, finally going after him
SETTING 3: The Blighted Waste, site of the final battle and Zeruel’s use of the ultimate technique
SETTING 4: Manaereth, where Zeruel drives back Sergeras and destroys Moridin
CHARACTERS:
MAIN PROTAGONIST: Zeruel (spoken from his point of view), a highly accomplished High Elf warrior who hides his tragic past. Was in love with Laurana, but had to leave to combat the undead Scourge. Covers the bottom half of his face with a cloth mask, a scar stretches above and below his right eye.
PROTAGONIST: Laurana, princess of Quel’Thanas, was (and still is) in love with Zeruel. Pined for him when he left, and she went in search of him. Was captured by the Scourge, and used to induce Zeruel to use an ultimate technique that ultimately destroys everything on the battlefield and breaks open Laurana’s prison.
PROTAGONIST: Tarrin, prince of Northrend and driven out by Kil’Jaeden and his Scourge. He helps Zeruel in his battles and is an immensely powerful mage.
PROTAGONIST: The Arginath, spiderlike beings who originally occupied Northrend, forced out by Kil’Jaeden and fought an unsuccessful war against him. Kil’Jaeden could not defeat them but reanimated their dead to create Crypt Lords.
PROTAGONIST: Crypt Lords: When Kil’Jaeden was forced to flee in the Waste, he lost control over them and they forged an alliance with Zeruel, Tarrin, the Arginath, and Sauron.
PROTAGONIST: Rhyvin, older brother of Tarrin, who gave up his princehood so he could learn the arts of the sword. He is almost as powerful of a swordsman as Zeruel, and helps him throughout Myr.
PROTAGONIST: Cyrnthos, the Great Dragon, currently using Zeruel as his host, provides Zeruel with a lot of help in his battles.
PROTAGONIST: The Forsaken, nine shadow beings who help Zeruel because of a life debt they owe him (he saved them from Kil’Jaeden)
ANTAGONIST: Kil’Jaeden, creator of the Scourge and deposer of Tarrin’s father. Tarrin is currently in exile, and Kil’Jaeden is the king of Northrend. He sent the Scourge to attack Quel’Thanas and is forced to flee when Zeruel uses an ultimate technique.
ANTAGONIST turned PROTAGONIST: Mandoreth, king of demons and trapped in a massive blade. This weapon was used by Kil’Jaeden, but was liberated by Zeruel. He cleansed the blade and freed Mandoreth, who then swore fealty.
ANTAGONIST: Moridin, an ancient mage of darkness who has pledged to rule Myr or destroy it. He has power over Kil’Jaeden, and is the priest of Sergeras.
ANTAGONIST: Sergeras, an ancient titan who was corrupted and turned to the darkness. He organizes the Burning Legion, and destroys Myr 3,000 years ago. It slowly recovers, and now he is stirring once more, using Moridin and Kil’Jaeden to help destroy Myr once more.
Devourer: ancient deity awakened by Zeruel’s use of his ultimate technique, prophesied to destroy the world. The God of Chaos, he ravages much of Myr (the continent) before being driven back by Cyrnthos (in guise of Zeruel). The Devourer realizes that Sergeras wishes to enslave Eldor and forges an uneasy alliance with him, planning to destroy Sergeras after Sergeras destroys everything else. When he is driven back and Sergeras defeated at Manaereth, he realizes Zeruel’s power and helps him destroy Sergeras and Moridin.
THE STORY STARTING
BEGINNING PROLOGUE
Zeruel speaking near the end of the story
Zeruel starts to speak of the start
CHANGE TO ZERUEL POV
Zeruel goes to Stormvale to sniff out some suspicious undead movement there
Zeruel meets with Laurana’s friend/bodyguard, his old friend Kalanyr
A Puppet Master appears within the city and attacks Laurana, Kalanyr, and Laurana’s escort
Zeruel fights off the Pupper Master’s puppets, but is then forced to watch as the Puppet Master erects a shield that blocks him off from the battle
The Puppet Master attacks directly, knocking KAlanyr back and preparing to stab Laurana
Zeruel makes a split second decision, and focuses all of his anger to break through the shield and jump
Zeruel knocks Laurana out of harm’s way, and takes the stabbing blow himself (in the abdomen)
Zeruel utilizes the Demon Seal to seal the Puppet Master’s soul into the blade, he faints from massive blood loss
CHANGE TO KALANYR’S POV
KAlanyr and Laurana carry Zeruel to Laurana’s room in Stormvale Castle, assisted by his friends ARchmage Rhyvin and Prince Tarrin
While Zeruel is resting, Kalanyr and Laurana listen to Prince Tarrin tell of their journey
CHANGE TO TARRIN’S POV
Starts earlier, to the first point in the storyline
Tarrin is forced out of the Northlands by the usurper Mordereth, a demon who kills Tarrin’s family
Tarrin escapes Mordereth’s reach and flees to Quel’Thanas, where he gets asylum
Tarrin meets with Zeruel, an orphan near his age who is an expert swordsman
Tarrin speaks of his life in Quel’Thanas (briefly)
Tarrin and Zeruel embark together to infiltrate the great Undead Kingdom
They meet Archmage Rhyvin near the Undead Kingdom
They team together and overpower the guards
Moment of hesitation when they argue over how it is futile to try to battle through the Undead Kingdom
ZEruel and Tarrin convince Rhyvin to do it, since duty matters most of all (EX of COURAGE)
Zeruel charges ahead into the Undead Kingdom, drawing along with him the Undead
Tarrin and Rhyvin go in after him to “clean up”
Zeruel is injured, and Tarrin goes ahead to scout
Rhyvin heals Zeruel, and they go and destroy the Undead Kingdom
CHANGE TO RHYVIN’S POV
Starts where Tarrin leaves off